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| Well, I made it. It's almost the end of July, and I'm still alive. A lot has happened this year. It's one of those seems-like-it-went-by-fast-but-not-really things. I did one play, one musical, M7, B3 Dedication, TNT, Baccalaureate, New York City, birthday, summer orientation, NYC, and KY camp, all while taking masters classes, switching departments and offices, and trying to buy a new house. I'm tired.
My great aunt died today. I wouldn't say we were close, but I knew her, and had spent time with her, so I'll miss her. Death is always a complex, difficult thing. It feels unnatural I guess. There's been a lot of death lately it seems. A friend of my brother-in-law. Son of a co-worker. I guess it comes in waves.
I think my church has more problems than I realize, or would admit. I enjoy it, but there seem to be growing fundamental issues that aren't being handled. That makes me sad. If we are the body...
Familiarity breeds contempt. Well played MT.
I've changed my mind about St. Louis. I think I might spend more time there some day.
So what's left? President's dinner, MHR party, new logo, homecoming, homecoming and homecoming, plenty of design work, PR groups, fall musical, moving to a new place, and the birth of Christ, among other things.
Here's to 2007, part II...
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| I think sanctification isn't as complicated as we sometimes make it. I find I am never good at explaining it, but I don't think it's this mysterious unobtainable state few achieve. I think it's the natural progression of the Christian faith, something that is a definate work of grace, and happens in both a moment and over a lifetime. God does not simply wash us clean then place us on a shelf never to be dirtied again. Living life we will get dirty.
I suppose we are born as a dirty glass, and we get filled with dirty water. Salvation is a dumping out of the dirty water and filling with clean. Washing the glass is the initial instance of sanctification. The re-washing is the journey of it.
Or at least, that's how i see it right now.
My high school was ranked #3 in the country by Newsweek. I think it's a dumb formula they use.
I am looking forward to this weekend. It will be good to see family, be away from the typical crowd, and enjoy my home town. I wish you all the same fate.
I think my three favorite things about summer are long evenings, cookouts and baseball. I don't do the latter two enough. | | |
| I am taking a class, and the professor opens each session with a devotional, which i enjoy both in concept and in content.
He reads a scripture verse from the book each time, and then asks if anyone in the class knows where the verse comes from. The class is not particularly heavy with religious folks, and as we have a pastor in the class, he typically makes a guess. I am usually rather lost as to the book, much less the chapter or verse.
So in this last class session, the lady next to me, with whom i've built a friendship, says "why don't you know these?" She knows I'm a Christian, and that I attend church regularly. I didn't have an answer for her. What's worse, I didn't have an answer for myself.
I spend far less time in study or simple reading of the Scripture than I should, or even care to admit. Usually it's something I don't think much of, and pass off as an activity I plan to get on soon, but never do. However, questions like that are quite sobering. I should know more about this label I wear, or perhaps stop wearing it, as I ruin it for those around me.
Which brings me to the point that Bible Quizzing is a far under-valued and unappreciated activity. I have made fun of quizzers, and to be honest, many of them lack social skills and social standing. However, I do find their participation in quizzing to be a very noble, and even holy, pursuit. To learn vast sections of scripture is a benefit that will long outlast the jump or according to question or win/loss.
I wish quizzing were the cool thing that brought masses to see, that the stars participated in, that no one dared make light of. But it's not - that thing is basketball. Or baseball. Or really any sport. All fine activities, but somehow lacking in comparison.
Is it possible we've gotten it backwards? | | |
| Social networking sites sometimes overwhelm me.
They really are a great tool, allowing you to keep in contact with many people across many miles without much effort. But as I approach several hundred "friends," I wonder how I can maintain any kinda of relationship with any of them.
By default (and I've written about this before), I communicate online more with people I regularly communicate with offline than I do with those I never see. There's that vast number of people you had an interaction with a while back, and don't necessarily want to let the relationship wither, but since there's no foundation really to build from, it dies. Or at best is awkward.
I guess I don't know if it's better to have many shallow friendships or just a few deep ones. I am leaning towards the latter, but at the same time am not sure how to handle the shallow ones that come along as a part of life. Perhaps its best to just let them come and go and not worry about it so much. If the friendship is meant to deepen, it will. Don't force it.
I suppose the real question is have is the eternal "what if?" There are many people I am acquainted with whom I'd like to get to know better. And I have to wonder if I were to have a connection with that person, how would my life possibly be impacted for the better? or for the worse?
Alas, life isn't a what if game. I am thankful for each and every person in my life, because I know they are all continually shaping and teaching me. And I will work hard to maintain the relationships I have, restore the ones I've let go, and forge new ones as I go along. I think we're called to do at least that much.
Now if only I made better first impressions.... | | |
| I was mad tonight. Like spitting mad. Angry. And I don't know why.
Well, I had an idea. 4 trivial things, really, that all kind of set me off. 1) Something I value about myself was made fun of, though not really intentionally. And maybe not so much made fun of, but kind of questioned as to its importance. No hard feelings to that person out there, but it didn't sit well with me. Then 2) I felt I was being complicated in this situation, and didn't mean to be. So I was upset at myself for that. Sometimes (or all the time) I wish I were just more easygoing. but somehow I always seem to complicate it. 3) I have a hint some behind the scenes favortism has happened. or more accurately, a back channel connection to get something done that probably doesn't need to be done. and it's a small thing, so i shouldn't even care. but it made me mad - at the underground methods, the neediness. and 4) i had to sit in traffic on my way home. i hate hate hate traffic. such a waste of...well, everything.
So they made me mad. Like really mad. I wanted to hit something. I wanted someone to push me so I could go off on them. I just wanted to lash out. I wanted yell. But individually they shouldn't have done that, and even collectively they shouldn't have done that. Yet for some reason, I was mad at the world.
Do you ever get that way? Just plain angry for no good reason. And you want to stay that way, livid, for a while. You don't want to be cheered up or have justice. You just want to be mad, with a sense of entitlement about it. Like you deserve to be angry, you are supposed to be, anyone would be in your shoes.
i'm not mad anymore. the feeling has subsided, and i've put it all back in perspective i think. well i prayed about it, and that always seems to bring perspective. | | |
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